1. We wear Lycra
In public. For fun. Enough said.
2. We brag about lost toenails
If you’ve run hard enough to lose a toenail or two, not only are you in the club, but you’re pretty much leader of the pack. Ditto black toenails/calloused heels/blisters. In fact, the uglier our feet, the prouder we become.
3. We love a bit of lube
Ever seen a guy generously applying lube to his nipples? Yep. That’s perfectly normal behaviour for runners.
4. We’ll happily chat about our bodily functions
It is not, under any circumstances, acceptable to talk about doing a Number 2. Unless, of course, you’re a runner, in which case it’s practically the law to discuss, in detail, that case of runner’s trots you had last Wednesday.
5. We sometimes run laps of our driveway at the end of a run
Because we absolutely MUST run 5 miles rather than 4.99 miles.
6. We think getting up at 6am on a Sunday for a run is normal
Well it is, isn’t it?
7. We crave the cold weather
We secretly breathe a sigh of relief when the summer heat is over.
8. We know the exact distance from A to B
If it’s on one of our running routes, we know the score when it comes to mileage. None of that ‘it’s about six miles or so’ rubbish. We think you’ll find it’s 6.23 miles. Because our Garmin said so.
9. We have our own secret language
‘Did you get that PB at the weekend?’
‘Well I was hoping to, because I put in all those tempo and fartlek sessions, but then I got an ITB issue so posted a DNS.’
Seriously, sometimes it must seem like we’re talking in code.
10. We run a very, very long way for fun
And you know what? It HURTS. It hurts so much it sometimes makes us cry a little bit. Or even throw up. But even that isn’t the really weird bit. The really weird bit is WE SIGN UP TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.
And you know what? Weird is good! Glad to have you on board!